32 Life Lessons

Four years ago, on my 28th birthday, I wrote a blog titled "28 Life Lessons." In the past four years it seems like nothing (and yet also so much) has changed. It feels fitting to write another life lessons blog, so from Uganda to Italy four years later here is another blog on life lessons; some still hold true four years later while others have been updated or added 😊

1. Take Risks. The biggest risks have the biggest rewards. You could fall flat on your face, but you could also discover something amazing.
2. Love unconditionally. The deeper you love the more you are able to experience. Yes, it will hurt more if the person you love leaves your life (be it family, friend, or significant other), but it will be worth all you have gained through loving them so much. Such amazing things can happen if you just let go and love other people as much as you can, and let them love you in return. Having such a strong bond with another human being is unbelievable rewarding, and worth all the effort.
3. Life happens. Go with it. It might take you somewhere unexpected but you can't plan for where life will lead you and you may discover a passion or a person you never knew existed that changes your life. 
4. It is never worth it to stay at a job that makes you miserable. If you hate it, get out. It is not worth your health, sanity, or time. Life is short so do something you love.
5. Sometimes friendships end. This was one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn. Sometimes we outgrow each other, or sometimes we say or do things, not necessarily on purpose, that effectively end a relationship because the damage caused is just too large to repair. Some people will not stay in your life forever, and that is ok. Everyone you meet will impact your life in some way; sometimes after playing their part it is time for a person to leave your life. It may be sad, it may hurt, and it may be hard, but it will be ok. (And it still will have been worth loving them)
6. A smile goes a long way (and it makes you happy!). Make someone's day. 
7. Forgiveness is hard, but you should work to forgive those who have hurt you. When you hold grudges the only person you are hurting is yourself.
8. Travel changes you and helps you discover who you are, and who you want to be. Yes, it is hard to find time and money, but it is doable if you make it a priority.
9. People leave you. Sometimes people die, sometimes they leave by choice, sometimes life leads them down a different path. Goodbyes are inevitable and they suck (for lack of a better word), but I’d rather have to say goodbye to someone knowing I was able to have a great person in my life for a certain amount of time than to never have known them at all.
10. Every person who enters your life has something to teach you. Some people teach you more than others, and some stay in your life for longer periods, but I truly believe that each person leaves an impression on you and has an impact on the person you become.
11. You should never stop learning. Life has so much to teach you. I am still trying to take steps to get my PhD, but many days I learn how to say a few words in Italian (or where to place an accent), learn a new recipe, or learn how to find my way back home because once again I've gotten lost or wandered in the wrong direction! Other days I learn about culture, history, or someone's life. Life is an endless opportunity to learn lessons.
12. There’s always a way. If you want to do something then do it. You can make an excuse or you can find an opportunity.
13. Dance your heart out; it’s fun, burns calories, and makes you feel better. (I mostly dance in the privacy of my own home and am ok with that.... friendly reminder that if you dance at a club you might feel 20 but remember in the morning you are not. drink responsibly.).
14. Keep your promises, even if they are small. They matter to those on the other end of that promise.
15. Take care of your body, mind, and soul. They are all important. 
16. Accept responsibility for your actions.
17. Be true to yourself. Take advice but don’t let others influence your decisions too much. You are the only person that can make you happy.
18. You are stronger than you think. Trust me. The body and mind can do amazing things. 
19. Don’t degrade yourself. There are plenty of people who are going to judge you, put you down, talk about you, and hurt you. Don’t let yourself be one of these people. Life is hard enough as it is, don’t make it worse.
20. Don’t regret your past. You may have made some mistakes, but you wouldn’t be the person you are today if it weren’t for the decisions you made yesterday.
21. Don’t give a damn about what people think (within reason). This is hard, but just be the person you are: do what you like, say what you feel, and you will find people who value you for you.
22. Sometimes you just need to say no. And it's ok to say no. You do you and don't feel guilty about it. 
23. It is never too late. Stop letting society determine a timeline for your life. You don’t need to be married in your 20’s (or ever), have children by the time you’re 30 (or at all), or get your final job after school. Each person is different and there is always time to find your happy. 
24. Learn from your pain. Unfortunately, life is full of pain. Even the happiest person has felt pain, be it emotional, physical, or other. People will hurt you, sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally. Sometimes you fall and it may the hardest thing in the world to get back up, but do it. Pick yourself up and make yourself stronger. Learn from everything and everyone who hurts you. It will make you a better person and it will help you understand the world around you.
25. Learn to communicate. I truly believe much of the pain and loneliness in life comes from miscommunication or lack of communication, whether it is on an individual level or higher. Everything can be worked out if you just talk AND listen, truly listen to what the other person is saying.
26. Love yourself. This is so important, yet so many people have such difficulty with this. If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you? Everyone reading this is beautiful and has a purpose in this world. Just be yourself and everything else will fall into place.
27. Life is beautiful. Don’t forget this. Yes, we all feel pain, and yes, some days it is really hard to think anything will go right, but everything will pass. Hold on to the good in life and remember that you have an opportunity to leave a mark on this world and everyone who crosses your path, so leave a good mark. Be a glimmer of hope, or a shining star in someone’s darkness. Think positive thoughts, and make the world a better place. Watch the sun rise, wish upon a star, hug the people in your life and tell them that you love them. There is beauty all around us. Don’t let life pass you by without stopping to look at all the splendor that life has to offer.
28. Your work isn't your life. This was a hard one for me. I am used to working nonstop and living life as a crazy person with no time to relax. Legally not being able to work has changed this a bit! But I'm learning to be me without a work association. And I'm learning about other passions and how to spend my time. In a way it is quite liberating. 
29. Appreciate the little things and don't sweat the small stuff. Life without a paid job can really open a person's eyes! Crazy as it sounds, I enjoy coffee and food more - I feel like I can taste and really savor things without rushing. I can drink coffee to enjoy it rather than to just to stay awake or eat for reasons other than to keep myself going (and at a restaurant rather than at my desk!). I also realize now that all the nights I stayed up working all night many times weren't worth it. Many nights would have been better spent with my husband rather than writing briefers, cables, or talking points. 
30. Exercise, wear sunscreen, and wash your face. Just do it. It will keep you healthy and young. Once day you will wake up and have knee and back pain; wrinkles and sunspots will come out of nowhere. Go easy on your body and treat it right. It is the vessel that houses your soul. 
31. Love and appreciate all the people in your life, and work to keep relationships alive. Making friends gets a lot harder as you get older (and it's even harder in a foreign language and country!). Friends start having their own families and more commitments, and priorities change. It becomes harder to keep in touch and even harder to meet up. Life also seems to have more sickness, loss, and death. Time takes on a different meaning and moments become more valuable. This leads me to my last lesson. 
32. Enjoy the little moments in your life, because those special moments are the ones that will become your most treasured memories. Savor every moment because it can only happen once. Somehow bursts of happiness or contentment seem to happen to me at unexpected moments. I love these moments, and they truly make me smile. Often, they are simple moments in the hustle and bustle of life: waking up to the sunrise, getting an unexpected hug when I really need it, hearing someone's voice on the phone, noticing they way a ray of sunlight hits a building, receiving a smile from a stranger, looking over and realizing my sister is sitting with me in Italy and I'm sharing my life her, or sitting with my husband and thinking life really can be perfect.  Some moments, of course, are more profound than others!

Yesterday, a few moments struck me. Yesterday, it was my birthday but I didn't tell anyone. I'm not sure why... maybe because it wasn't a milestone birthday or because I don't know many people here so didn't want to make a big deal about it. It seemed like a completely normal day until the afternoon. A few months ago someone had asked me when my birthday is and I didn't think much of it. I saw her yesterday and she gave me a gift - it was totally unexpected, thoughtful, practical, and truly perfect. It was also the only gift I received here. I don't think she knows how much that meant, but it really changed my day. 

Later, I went to class and was asked why I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday so they could have prepared something! I brushed it off, saying it wasn't important and we moved on. At the end of class the teacher came in with a lighter and said she didn't have any candles so we had to improvise. The class sang happy birthday to me in Italian and I blew out the lighter. It was so thoughtful and all I could think was "in this moment, I am truly happy," and that's all you can really ask for in this life.